Monday, May 31, 2010

Monday Metal Mania

I am not all that smart.


I used to be a calculus and physics whiz, but since I stopped working (in 2001) and left school (in 2005), I've become pretty darn stupid. Calc and physics would probably come back to me if I sat down and tried them (and trust me, I think about doing just that all the time). I'd wager money that, at times, my almost 6 year old can outsmart me. He certainly sees things from a different perspective. I'm not a visual person. I can't see patterns well or think three dimensionally. I learn fairly well by doing. I don't learn well by reading lots and lots of text. If there are diagrams with instructions, I can semi-do something. I'm certainly not a good listener and my retention (regardless of input format) sucks. That's why I'm not all that active on message boards and pretty self-centered in my blogs. It's not that I don't care. It's that I don't remember and I'm easily side-tracked.

Speaking of which, this post is about Memorial Day. I wanted to find a metal song that fits with the sentiment of the day. Memorial Day itself doesn't mean all that much to me. Every single day, I think of and honor/appreciate the people who have fought and died for this country - relatives, friends, strangers. I was going to say it's like Mother's Day, Father's Day, Sweetest Day, Valentine's Day, Grandparent's Day, and the utterly ridiculous Step-Parent's Day but it's not really the same. Those are bullshit holidays. I'm a mom every day of the year, and I don't need a special day for reading/listening to other moms cry and whine about how their husbands didn't do anything for them for Mother's Day. Dude, you're not his mother. Don't get him anything on Father's Day, unless you're in a very sick and twisted relationship with your actual father. So what if your kids aren't old enough. Do you really think one day a year of forced appreciation is going to change anything?

I think the intentions of Memorial Day are much better. It does mean something, something bigger than just a relationship that not everyone may be a part of. But as far as celebrating, I don't. My father-in-law comes down, takes us to dinner, and I eat crap all weekend. I bitch about the traffic, because Memorial Day kicks off Touron Season (and we can't even shoot them). I will rarely leave my house this summer. Harris Teeter will no longer have killer meat deals until after the vacationers who can't drive the speed limit leave. There are two vacationers I'm looking forward to seeing. The rest of you just get the bird from me.

A couple paragraphs ago, I said I'm easily side-tracked. I meant to start out by saying I'm not smart enough to find a really good Monday Metal Mania song for today's sentiment. So, this week's lame attempt to connect Monday Metal Mania and Memorial Day is Metallica's One. Peter Piper also picked a peck of pickled peppers while the woodchuck who could chuck wood chucked wood and Silly Sally sold seashells by the seashore.

This video always fascinated me. Based on a book, later made into a movie, Johnny Got His Gun, the song is about a disabled soldier from WWI who is limbless, with no eyes, nose, ears or mouth. He cannot communicate with those around him, but his mind is intact. Stephen Hawking (one of my heroes from my short-lived physics-obsessed days) can probably relate a little bit. I've read A Brief History of Time more times than I can count. Another book I love is Kip Thorne's Black Holes & Time Warps. I wonder how relevant these books are today. I haven't even kept up with current theories in instructional design, much less the more complicated field of physics.

So what would I do if I were trapped in my own head, with no means of communication or experiencing the outside world? I think I'm half crazy even with sensory input and output. If I had to put up with nothing but my own thoughts day in and day out, I don't know. I don't know enough about the brain to guess how it would adapt. I do know that I wouldn't want to be a burden to those caring for my body. That's the big thing. I wouldn't make a very good paperweight or door stop.

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